Blotter Paper

If I echo the conventional wisdom, but no one reads it, can I still be part of the inside-the-beltway echo chamber?

Reflecting on this absurdly annoying Stan Fish article

Posted by blotterpaper on November 25, 2009

Breaking my long posting silence to write about an NYT article that has annoyed me so many reasons that I think I could create an entire blog centered around why I dislike it.

Just to start off with, large portions of the comment section to this article is devoted to people bitching about their waiters.

What is with this weird hostility and tension between customers and service staff. I mean, hasn’t America evolved to the point where everybody is someone else’s service staff? Like, sure someone is your waiter, but you’re someone else’s lawyer. We all have clients and we all are someone’s client. Like, in this one particular moment I might be paying you money for something…but in a little while, someone will be paying me money for something.

And I don’t really see that there’s any major necessity for either of us to be servile / condescending / or unnatural towards each other. Like, there’s no particular reason for me to be nice to you, or for me to demand that you be nice to me. I’m sure that I’m unconscionably rude to service staff all the time. People are rude to me as well. And sure, whatever, that sucks…but you know. I’m sure some of you have heard me complaining about it at some point. But I don’t think it’s _wrong_ for people to be rude to me.

Because you know what? I’ve always gotten my hamburger, and I’ve always paid for it. And as long as that happens, who cares about the little verbal signifiers we use to try to place each other into a pecking order based on who, temporarily, is holding the money.

Posted in Commenting on the Commenters | 1 Comment »

My quadruple century

Posted by blotterpaper on September 13, 2009

Received my four hundredth rejection a few days ago, from Analog. I think I announced my 300th around this time last year, though I’m too lazy to go back and check. But, ummm, yeah, that’s alot. And there have been two three-month periods this year where I wasn’t really submitting anything as the rejections came in.

It’s kind of impossible to be actively angry / resentful / sad after 400 rejections (which, by the way, is not even a particularly high number by apprentice writer standards). Mostly, they don’t even register at all. Though if it’s a relatively recent story being rejected I do still sometimes feel a slight sense of pique at my genius going unrecognized. But I think that’s neither unusual nor particularly destructive, if a sense of proportion is maintained.

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Raw Foodism is Silly

Posted by blotterpaper on June 17, 2009

So, from the way various raw foodists have explained it to me (and bear in mind that they were almost certainly stoned at the time, and hence perhaps their reasoning does not represent the “party line”) the reasoning behind only consuming raw food is that this is somehow more natural to the human condition. Like, human beings were evolved to eat raw food, and only ate raw food always, until relatively recently, so our systems are all like confused by cooked food, man. And the cooked food, it just kind of shocks our bodies, and makes them go whoah, like what the hell’s happening. So we get all sick and fat and unhealthy, because what we’re eating is all just totally fundamentally not in even the form we’re suppposed to eat it in. Like, it goes beyond chemicals and junk. We’ve heated up the food, applied fire and heat to it, and totally just baked the hell out all the rich natural vitamins and proteins and minerals and nutrients and junk that are supposed to be in it.

Okay, that’s actually totally wrong, and here’s why. There’s evidence that our ancestors, Homo Erectus, used fire as early as 1.5 million years ago. By around 400,000 years ago, there’s widespread evidence that we were using fire in a fairly controlled way, including charred bone! As in the charred bones of things that we cooked and then ate! Modern humanity diverged from whatever common ancestor we had with the Neanderthals (who probably also used fire) 200,000 years ago. So actually, we are specifically evolved as a people who cooked our food. How can anyone think that eating only raw food (especially meat) is a good idea? I mean, I get it if it’s for, like, spiritual or ethical or moral or aesthetic reasons, or whatever. But if it’s for health reasons? Cmon.

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Three cheers for overstimulation

Posted by blotterpaper on April 23, 2009

I was driving in my car, listening to music today. And because it was some weird folk crap, I was thinking about how different music must have been back in the eras these musicians were riffing off of.

Music, unless one was a musician oneself, must have always been a communal activity. The notion of being listening to music by yourself would have been impossibly alien, not to mention impossible. Furthermore, you’d hear like one style of music, which would be whatever was prevalent wherever you were from. And most of it would be pretty bad. All music would be equivalent to the idiot in the dorm room across from you strumming on his guitar, rather than only listening to the cream of the crop, who’ve been skillfully packed into portable, recorded form.

Wow, we have more access to information than people in the past, I know, that’s hardly profound. But I wonder how constant access to an infinite variety of entertainments affects our life, qualitatively. Are we happier than those people in the past were? Is the quality of our thinking superior? Are we able to appreciate the world to a greater or more refined degree? What would it be like to be as profoundly ignorant as those people would have been?

I guess its tempting to just compare ourselves to people in impoverished nations (or our own nation) who lack many of our amenities, but I don’t think the case is the same. Those people are at least aware of what is out there. Also, even the most impoverished people in the world occassionally listen to a radio (unless they’re Sentinel islanders).

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Doing my thing…and whatnot…

Posted by blotterpaper on April 21, 2009

Been a pretty hectic six weeks. My hard drive crashed a week into March and I lost everything that I’d written this year (the recovery company could never nothing). So I kind of lost my taste for writing, and for this blog for awhile. In the midst of this minor depression, I got a job (hopefully). And I visited the Bay Area, once again reminding myself that, in addition to being awesome myself, I have awesome friends*. On that far away shore, I had perhaps what is one of the best times every had by anyone, ever. Now I’m back** and writing again, and I decided to reboot this blog (because otherwise the opinions just pour out of my skin in this strange green excresence***).

*You’re welcome

**And I have a great new backup drive that backs up everything, always. Hear that, ye gremlins?

***Man, I love expressing opinions. Just love it.

Posted in Background Checks | 1 Comment »

My dreams have started to have endings

Posted by blotterpaper on February 28, 2009

I’m not sure how most people dream, but I tend to remember my dreams in long, uninterrupted sequences that segue from one plotline and setting to another. For instance, I’ll be in the midst of one dream and then sit down to watch TV within it, and the content of that television program will become the content of my dream and we will never return to the action of the previous setting. And then I wake up, and nothing ends. It’s kind of exhausting.

But recently, my dreams have started to come to a close. For instance, last night I was involved in a thoroughly banal murder frame-up plot and I actually got out of it by blackmailing a cop who looked like Kevin James before I got involved in some weird singing quarter / vigilante squadron headed by Billy Crystal. It was great to have that sense of closure.

Posted in Little Moments | 1 Comment »

Lost a weekend to the flu…

Posted by blotterpaper on February 9, 2009

Or something flu-like anyway, which certainly came from my brother. But I’m feeling better now. I’m consistently amazed by how well over the counter medications work at not making me feel terrible. For many, many years I thought that tylenol or advil were something on the order of warm tea or chicken soup in terms of efficacy, until I started taking three pills instead of two (due to my larger size) and realized that they really can relieve headaches and fevers.

Although I do wonder, if fevers are our body’s natural response to being ill, then isn’t artifically suppressing them a bad thing to do?

Also, one of the top results for my name is now my John W. Campbell Award Nominations profile. For those of you not in the know, this is an award that I will absolutely not win, which I am eligible for by virtue of having made a professional sale in 2008. But, at the very least, I hope that the awards page will direct some traffic towards this site.

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Now that’s what I’m talking about…

Posted by blotterpaper on February 4, 2009

This ballsy college student bid $1.7 million for oil leases he couldn’t afford in order to disrupt a Dept. of the Interior auction, figuring that if he could just delay things thirty days, the Obama administration wouldn’t continue with the Bush administration plan to sell off federal lands in Utah.

Now, the kid is probably going to be prosecuted, and I would not be surprised if he ends up in jail for fraud. But that’s what civil disobedience is. The whole point is to get arrested. You’re supposed to break unfair laws, and in being punished, expose the government’s moral shortfalls. You’re supposed to martyr yourself.

That’s the kind of conviction that I rarely see mustered (and that I will probably never muster for anything), because it’s alot harder than writing a letter to your congressman or attending an anti-war protest. Not that those things can’t do a little bit of good…but this shows that there’s a whole lot more good out there that can be done, by a sufficiently committed person.

Posted in Politics | 1 Comment »

Starting new stories

Posted by blotterpaper on February 2, 2009

For the past few days I’ve been writing story beginnings, at roughly 400-800 words each. That’s because much of my process involves taking up and finishing ideas that have been simmering for months or years. Usually, a few weeks or months after initially getting the idea, I’ll write about 500-1000 words of it and then give up. Then a few months later I’ll go back to it and finish it. But due to an unnatural amount of productivity over the summer / last few months, I’ve pretty much run out of story starts (at least ones that I ever think I will get back to), so I decided to lay down some fertilizer for the future.

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I am unable to stop being entertained by this paragraph

Posted by blotterpaper on January 31, 2009

“I simply cannot understand why a person utterly alien to my habits and the whole tenor of my life, a person who is quite unlike the people I am fond of, should come to visit me every day and have dinner with me. My wife and servants whisper mysteriously that he is the ‘fiance’, but I still can’t understand why he is here. His presence bewilders me just as much as though a Zulu were put next to me at table.”

It’s from “A Boring Story (From the Notes of an Old Man)” by Anton Chekhov. I think it might be because a combination of too many country songs, sitcoms, and romantic comedies have completely brainwashed me concerning the proper nature of a father’s relationship to his daughter’s fiance. He’s supposed to be concerned that she’s marrying someone inappropriate (or overjoyed with him and bond with him), not just annoyed that this strange person has suddenly shown up in his life. I can’t help but thinking that Chekhov’s view is more representative of reality, much of the time, though.

I think of sit-coms (and related entertainments) as being like fairy tales. They teach us about how we’re supposed to live, which is especially important in an age where most of us don’t have strong community bonds and can’t observe other families. And I think many sit-coms, sometimes consciously (Scrubs) and sometimes unconsciously (Friends) embrace this sort of model. And where they don’t do so, the relationships portrayed are often so horrible that we just laugh, because to admit any truth in them would be kind of painful (The Office, 30 Rock). But that definitely leaves a hole in our understanding of interpersonal relationships actually work.

On the other hand, most prose fiction takes the same easy cop-outs. So I might just be setting up a false opposition between the mediums. Maybe the real answer is just that Chekhov is totally the bomb, and could beat up Captain Kirk any day, but doesn’t, because he is just too cool for that. I still own’t forgive him for what he did to Mr. Garibaldi though. Stupid Psi-Cops. And that goes for Miss Cleo too. She’s the Bernie Madoff of Psychics. Speaking of which, I was reading that Bernie Madoff has caused all this anti-semitic furor on the internet. I haven’t read any of that. Have you?

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