The author renames Fish’s article, appropriately: “100 Fucking Things You’d Better Not Be Doing If You Want To Work At My Restaurant.”

A choice excerpt:
“To me hearing ‘no problem’ from a server means that I am most likely dining at a fine family-style chain restaurant within a half mile radius of a state school, and will likely hear the inhabitants of my table addressed as ‘guys,’ regardless of our gender(s), on multiple occasions following that. Will I be offended? No. Not for long, at least. Why? Because I am there to eat the living fuck out of some fajitas, not to lay the groundwork for my linguistics dissertation.”